It wasn’t a calm river, however calming Laza found it. The rush of whitewater beside her slashed at her with searing flecks of spray, dampening her hair and her clothes but refreshing her spirit. Refreshing. That’s the word she was looking for. The cold water was refreshing, in the way her trancelike march through the woods to get here simply wasn’t. that sense grew stronger as she slipped a bare foot into the almost frozen pool before her. Her breath caught and rose in a frost cloud before her face, but she kept her foot submerged. She reclined, smiling as she felt it grow numb, to stare at the sky.
The lights above her were fading. Bands of orange and purple stabbed through the clouds and leafless trees. What warmth the fall sun might offer is lost by the time it makes it to the already frigid ground. There had been frost the past two nights, one of the first signs Laza saw warning her that it was nearly time. Last night there was almost as much light at night than there was during the day. It would be tonight, or the next. She could wait. She’d waited before. There was really nothing to it.
She closed her eyes and slipped another foot into the pool. The river’s roar drowns everything around her, making her hike to this spot seem silent. There had been noises, owl’s cries and scurrying footsteps of unseen animals, but nothing like this. Nothing so blissfully consuming. It’s peaceful for its lack of peace, for the way the sound, like the river, carved an unending path through whatever might oppose it. freedom in the chaos, and purpose in the roar. She’ll experience it again, soon enough.
“Laza!”
She flinched and nearly fell into the pool. Her face grew hot, and she rushed to stand and make it seem like nearly anything else is happening. Nobody’s followed her before. Nobody’s found this spot before. She’s not even sure how she found it again, and again.
But of course he did. Alnu stood on the far shore of the river, his hands cupped around his mouth as he called her name again. He waved to her. Laza raised her hand, frowned, and watched him look for a place to cross to her. he was trying not to get wet. Laza smiled. She could tell him it was a fruitless endeavor, but this was something to watch at least. A quick glance back to the sky told her she couldn’t watch for long. A splash and a string of curses to her right told her that she wouldn’t have to.
“The river’s freezing!” Alnu shouted as he hauled himself onto a rock not far from Laza. He still had to shout to make himself heard over the water. “Shit! I dropped my phone.”
“Take mine!” Laza pointed to the bank he’d come from. “It’s by my shoes. I don’t need it.”
“What?”
“I don’t need it!”
“Laza, what are you?” Alnu looked around the roaring river. “Are you?”
“What?”
“Laza, you don’t have to do this!”
Laza brought her hand to her mouth to cover her laugh. She saw the surprise creep onto Alnu’s face. She wasn’t sure, exactly, what he thought until he’d said that. maybe it made sense that he followed her here.
Wait.
“Did you follow me?” she asked.
“What?”
“You followed me!”
“Well, I was worried! It looks like I was right. Please don’t jump.”
“I won’t!” Laza’s smile faltered. “Well…”
“What?”
“I can’t hear you! Come over here!”
“The water’s so cold!”
“I know.”
“What?”
“I know!”
“So?”
“It’ll be quick!” She looked up at the sky. It was now a dark purple. Laza wondered if that pinprick of light was the first star. She sighed. “It will be quick…”
She turned when she heard Alnu splash into the river and curse, again, at the temperature. She sat and watched him slosh through the black and white river, more curses rising on his own clouds of frosty breath. Laza dipped her feet back into the water. She held out her hand for Alnu. He took it, hauled his sopping form onto the rock beside her, and held himself in his arms, shivering. His face was white, his black hair hanging in thin tendrils to his forehead. She giggled, moved so he could sit beside her, and looked him in the eye.
“How did you follow me?”
“You weren’t exactly sneaky,” he said. “I saw you trip. It looked like it hurt.”
“Oh. That.” Laza looked down at the bloodied scuff on her knee. “I hardly feel it.”
“I’m surprised you feel anything. It’s so cold!”
“It helps.” Laza stared up at the sky. “It’s so clear, too.”
“No more heat haze,” Alnu said, nodding. “Winter’s almost here.”
“I know.”
“So, why are you here?”
Laza shook her head.
“You should go.”
“Go? I just waded through that ice water to sit here!”
“I know, but… I can’t explain. I’m happy you came but this isn’t the place for you. Not now.”
“No. You don’t get to do something like this and not explain it to me!”
“I can’t explain it. I…”
“I think I know what’s happening.”
“No. You couldn’t.”
“I can google, Laza!”
“Google? What’s the internet going to tell you about this?”
“Well… it’s not the first time you’ve gone missing.”
Laza laughed.
“I take hikes! I go camping. What’s all the worry about me ‘going missing’?”
“Well, people don’t know where you go.”
“That’s kind of the point of a getaway, you know.”
“Oh.” Alnu looked down at his feet. “Well, then I guess I kind of ruined your getaway.”
“No, no.” Laza placed a hand on his forearm. He flinched at how cold she was, even as he started to shiver in his own clammy dampness. “It’s fine. I’m just worried, that’s all.”
“Worried about what?”
“Whatever theories you’ve got in your head about what’s going to happen.”
“So, something is going to happen.”
“That’s not…” Laza sighed.
“You can talk to me. I’m not afraid.”
“I’m not saying you’re afraid! I only… I don’t know.”
“What?”
“I don’t know how you’ll react, is all.”
“React to…”
Laza pulled her feet out of the pool and sat crossed-legged, facing Alnu. He copied her, and shot the same furtive look to the darkening sky when she did. His gaze lowered first, and caught the first real flicker of worry on her face since he’d arrived. He swallowed, shifted in his seat, and sighed. She looked back at him.
“You have a way to get back?” she asked.
“Yeah. Well enough.”
“Good. It’s getting dark.”
“It is.”
“Full moon though.”
“Yeah.” Laza smiled. “That have something to do with your theories, then?”
“Well…”
“Come on.”
“It sounds stupid.”
“Oh, I’m sure it does.” Laza’s smile grew. “How does it go? Say it. Say it out loud.”
She broke into laughter shortly after Alnu did. He slapped a hand to his forehead, then slid it to cover his face as his body shook.
“What?” Laza chided. She grabbed at his arm. “What? What? Come on.”
“It’s nothing like that…” he said through gasping laughter. When it faded, and it did, Laza saw a kind of confused pain replace it on his face. What little of his face she could see. The sun had set fully by the time he spoke next. “Well, it’s kind of like that.”
Laza put her hand on his knee.
“I know. You’ll see it anyway, if that makes it easier. But you really don’t have to be afraid.”
“I’m not.”
“You are a little. If not for it, then for me. That’s why you came, right?”
“I was worried.”
“Worry’s a type of fear, smartass.”
“I guess you’re right.”
Alnu shifted in his seat and lay back against the rock, staring into the sky. Laza moved beside him, but closed her eyes. She took in the rushing sounds of the ever-present water around them, felt the flecks of spray bite against her exposed skin, and then felt Alnu shiver beside her. Her hand inched across the cold, slick rock until it grabbed his not-much-warmer hand. He held hers tight, huffed, and closed his eyes too.
“Are you going to come back?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you just trying to get me to shut up?” he asked.
Laza shrugged.
“Maybe a little. I do come back though. Don’t I? Always.”
“You do. What am I supposed to tell them?”
“Who?”
“Them.”
“That I’m camping, duh. You found me, and I wanted alone time, so I told you to get lost.” She turned to him, opening her eyes, and found that he was already looking at her. She swallowed. “So, get lost.”
“What?”
“I’m not going to make you tell a total lie.” Laza looked back up at the growing number of stars. “Besides, I still don’t know if I… if I actually want you around for this.”
“Why?”
“You’ll… look at me different. I don’t know.”
“I told you, I’m not afraid.”
“It’s not that. I’m afraid.”
“You’re afraid?”
“Yeah.”
“Of what?”
“That… you’ll laugh.”
“What?” Alnu sat up straight. “What are you talking about?”
Laza covered her face with both her hands, groaning.
“I’m serious! You can’t… laugh at me. Ever.”
“Ever?”
“Well, no, not ever but about this. I…”
“Hey, hey… I won’t. It’s alright.”
“But it’s not! It’s so… stupid.”
Only when Alnu tugged Laza’s hands away from her face did he realize she was laughing herself, not crying. She laughed harder at the confused look on his face. He leaned back from her, huffed, and folded his arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said, patting him with the back of her hand while she tried to stop laughing. “It’s like, I’ve never actually gotten the chance to talk to anyone about it before and when I try it’s just so dumb.”
“It’s okay.”
“What, are you sulking?”
“No.”
“Hey, now.” She poked his side. “Stop that.”
“What?”
“That!” She sighed. “I’m glad you came.”
“Are you?”
“Yeah…” Her breathing slowed. “Dumb as it is, I’m happy I get to share it with someone.”
“When is ‘it’ even going to happen?”
“Soon. Soon enough. Moon’s almost up.”
“Oh.”
Alnu sat up, and saw that Laza was right. The moon, in its full beauty, had appeared just on the ridge of mountains before them. Its white form grew as it rose, emerging from the horizon and fighting through the skeletal fingers of trees to cast its silver light around the scene. Flashes of that light shimmered on the pool before them and sparked off the rapids far below. Laza sighed, and stood.
“You weren’t entirely wrong you know. Google had… some answers, if you know the right questions to ask.”
“Full moon… disappears… seems antsy.”
“I always seem antsy.”
“Well… yeah.”
“I don’t even know how I got bit, that’s the stupid thing. I think I’ve got to be the only one.”
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing. I’ll… miss you.”
“It won’t be that long.”
“I know.”
“Don’t laugh, right?”
“I promise.”
“Good… Good.”
“Promise you’ll come back?”
“That’s the one thing I can promise you.” Laza stepped into the pool and winked at him. “I always find my way home.”
Alnu watched Laza turn from him and stare at the moon. Her body spasmed. He stood back in shock, but covered his mouth to keep her silence. Laza fell face-first into the water, twitching and thrashing. Alnu reached to pull her out, but his hands closed around something even colder than she had felt. When he pulled his hand out of the water, he felt the slime. His hand closed into a fist, then he choked on a surprised laugh.
A large salmon splashed from the water, shining by the light of the moon. Alnu gaped as it seemed to notice him, fanning its fins to keep its position in the river and opening its mouth as if daring him to finish his laugh. Alnu rasied his hands in defense, shook his head, but gaped on. The fish turned, wriggled its way out of the pool, and disappeared into the cold, free waters of the river. Alnu stood, alone but for the light of the full moon, on the rock and watched his breath rise in a silver cloud before him.