Last night, around four in the morning, I finished the first part of my third book. This first draft clocks in at around fifty-seven thousand words. This is admittedly a self-congratulatory post, and a celebration of work and effort at producing that many words of a draft that will go through so much revision and work over the next few years. But it’s also a reflection because we’re now three months away from the release of the first part of my first book!
(Shameless plug, the prologue is available for free here. Book itself will release December 6th, 2019.)
Telgora as a concept was actually something I began writing in the seventh grade, more for fun than anything else. The story in its current form began in sophomore year of college. That puts the concept at least around ten years old, I think? The current version then at about five? I’m terrible at math; there’s a reason I was a history major. I still have the original map I drew in eight grade for it (man was I a cool kid then), and it’s served as the basis as Telgora has shifted from a country, to a city-state, to a myriad of other incarnations.
It’s a reflective time for me because the story has changed so much in that time and I’ve changed as well. What’s coming out will be the culmination of years of work and the product of a lot of the changes I’ve been through. There are people who were in my life when I started this journey who are now no longer with me, whether through natural drifting, admittedly untimely death, and the wonderful institution of the breakup. There are people now in my life who’ve only just met me and don’t even know that I’m publishing a fantasy book. There are family members who’ve watched me change into who I’ve become and there’s people who refuse to admit that I have.
This book, as I suppose all literature is to a degree, will be taking a public stand on my words and my voice and for the first time everyone will get to see that and that’s equal parts terrifying and exhilarating. I’ve experienced those feelings before, albeit under a penname, during my glory days as a kingpin of the Phineas and Ferb fandom (no, really. At some point I’m going to write about how damn important children’s media is for imagination and that show will be prominently featured). The stories I wrote then and the feedback I received for them were what helped spur me on in writing. Fanfiction is a great medium for practicing creativity because it’s one-part baby-steps, there are characters and worlds already there for you, but it’s equal part finding your voice. One can only read so many PhineasxIsabella stories before they all kind of blend together, after all. At least one of my stories made it onto TvTropes, so I like to think I stood out.
There are characters in this book that I know people who’ve known me for some time, and who no longer know me, will be surprised I wrote. Some might not approve, and others might approve more. There’s language and themes I never thought I’d explore back when Telgora first started. The things I’ve developed and the place this story has gone are not exactly where I expected to wind up.
I do outline my stories, and I encourage everybody to at least to a degree, but it’s important to keep those outlines flexible. I’m going to sound annoyingly writer-y when I talk about how my characters kind of developed lives of their own, but that’s important to consider. Hitting certain plot points became kind of unattainable as my characters changed through the story, and so the story had to change. Maybe that’s another reason I enjoy writing so much; it’s like experimenting with life. You get to watch someone change, someone you created, and understandable sometimes you’re going to wind up having to reevaluate whether the plan you had for them is working.
First drafts are always shit, that’s important to remember too. The first draft of A Place I Have Never Been was absolute garbage. I keep it printed out and with my writing files because it’s fun to look back at it. I think back to when I finished it, sitting under my girlfriend’s lofted bed in college and having a small completely legal toast to wrapping it up. Finishing the first draft is the easy part, as five years of editing and revisions have taught me. But life seemed easier then too. I didn’t know then that I wanted to be a sommelier, or that I’d live in North Carolina ever, that I’d actually keep this story going or meet the people I’ve been happy and sad to meet and say goodbye to. I’m happy to have reached a point where I can sit back for… maybe a week… and reflect that I’ve written fifty-seven thousand words in a story that still has a lot to go. But for the first time I’ve stopped, maybe because this is theoretically the halfway point in the stories I’m trying to tell, or maybe because until recently today had some amount of personal significance, and I’ve thought to myself about what actually happened in those words.
I moved, I changed jobs, I got out of a relationship, and I’ve had to reevaluate a lot of my own priorities and goals. Spring shifted into an admittedly brief summer into an equally late coming fall. I’ve lost some weight (thank you, stress) and I’ve gained a swath of new and exciting responsibilities and am thrilled to take on more.
Fifty-seven thousand words in… holy shit four months? I started this is June? Alright that one surprised me, but that just goes to show how fast life can change on you. I actually pulled up the date of creation just to check but I thought it was longer than that. Huh. Everything I just said happened in four months and fifty-seven thousand words. I wonder what the next fifty-seven thousand will bring.